Marilyn Jane Hees - Gidzinski

1964 - 2019

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Marilyn Jane Hees-Gidzinski Eulogy

Welcome and thank you for coming today. My name is George Gidzinski, Marilyn’s husband of 48 days and best friend and soul mate of 22 years.

 We are here to pay tribute to and celebrate the life of Marilyn Jane Hees-Gidzinski, a loving joyful person who touched the lives of so many people with her brand of humor, selflessness, joy and dedication to others. She was a complex woman and to appreciate her fully you had to get to know her. She was tall and beautiful with a constant radiant smile, lighting up a room when she entered and so it was easy to focus on her appearance but she was so much more than that. The best of Marilyn could be found in her other traits. A good friend once said that she is beautiful both on the outside and the inside. She was very driven about the things that she was passionate about. She could be tough like her military father, holding people to account and making sure that you were flying right. She could really get kids in line, which of course included me. She ran an organized and tight ship and could launch a Saturn 5 moon rocket with all the apps and reminders on her iphone and computer.  But she was also filled with so much love, joy and caring. She was an extraordinary human being, a real one of a kind. She was selfless, focusing almost all of her energy on her faith and serving others. Me, mom, the elderly and young children primarily. Playing the piano at the nursing home, looking after mom, Doris and John, playing with all the kids at a gathering acting goofy and making then giggle and laugh. She had an almost child like joy and goofiness that was infectious and she was almost always happy. Her go to way of looking at everything was absolute joy even over the simplest things. I would ask her if she wanted an ice cream desert after dinner and she would just light up and say, are we going on an ice cream date! – smiling from ear to ear as if she just won the lottery. The thing is that she really was that happy over the simplest things. And that smile. I looked through thousands of pictures getting ready for today and she has that huge radiant smile in almost every one of them.

 She was constantly enriching the lives of others, especially those who needed help and support. Her focus was always outside of herself. In the 22 years that we were together, she almost never asked for anything for herself. All she ever wanted was to be loved and to be kept safe. We didn’t even exchange gifts for Christmas. Instead, at her suggestion we bought gifts for the elderly at the nursing home that had no family and she played Santa handing then out and comforting those that were lonely. Well there were exceptions. Last year she did ask for a new toilet for her bathroom because the 35 year old existing one did not work right and could not be properly repaired. You never saw someone so happy to receive such a utilitarian gift. She cried and cried because it made her so happy that I remembered and installed it as a surprise. She found joy in everything. I can tell you from personal experience that she really changed my life by touching my heart and being such a good example. She taught me how to love myself and in turn to love and serve others, including her. We were 100% dedicated to each other. 100% committed forever.

 Marilyn was born In Burbach Germany on September 11, 1964 to Karl and Elfriede Hees. She is survived by her husband George Gidzinski, mother Elfriede Hees, brothers Karl and Glen Hees, and her sister Heidi Becker. Marilyn’s father was a Chief Master Sergeant in the US Air force and so she had the opportunity to live in Germany, Italy, the Philippines and various locations in the US before settling in Florida and because of that she spoke 3 languages and appreciated other cultures and people. Marilyn worked at White Castle during high school, radio and TV stations, did modeling and eventually went to school for training as an administrative assistant. She then worked as a secretary, meeting planner and in medical administration at the local hospital. By all accounts she was a really sweet kid and very respectful of others, especially the elderly. One of her favorite people growing up was her beloved Oma, her grandmother from Germany. And she loved her family so much; she would do anything for any of us. She was really domestic even as a little girl so she liked to cook and clean and make a house into a home.

  She was an exceptional cook and really worked hard to collect and perfect the most important recipes from her heritage, some over 100 years old. She learned how to cook Polish food because of my background. She learned to cook Jamaican food because our association with Doris, her family and the gatherings at the senior center. The best desert I ever ate was her German apple cake which took 2 days to make and was really spectacular. She had so many talents and was so passionate about her interests. She was in to snow skiing, boating, fishing, filming and editing videos, piano, accordion, gardening and work. One thing we had in common was she loved to work. I mean digging up 30’ palm trees with a truck, digging Oleanders out with a trac hoe, cleaning gutters, cleaning the pool, replacing pool screens and trimming hedges. That list goes on and on. One Christmas she did ask for a gift - a hedge trimmer. Of course I obliged her. What husband wouldn’t get his wife a hedge trimmer for Christmas? Gloves, boots shovels, and rakes – she had her own collection of tools for work. Again, she was an extraordinary person of so many talents and skills, filled with so much love and joy.

 One funny thing about Marilyn was that she was always butchering American slang phrases and making up new combination words, most of which made sense in a weird kind of way. Like, “Oh good, we can hit two birds in the head with the same rock”. It kinda makes sense. Every once and a while though one of her phrases were hard to figure out like “I don’t want any comments from the pickle farm”. I think that was suppose to be the peanut gallery but I’m still working that one out. Some of her combinations were really clever like unexscuptable which, in this case was a chair that was both uncomfortable and inexcusable. Sometimes she just messed up a word like incacipitated. It was all in good fun and she was a good sport about it. Ironically she was really good at spelling and grammar and sentence structure when writing.

 Marilyn and I were together for 22 years. Our relationship was not always perfect; we had a few rough patches in the early years, in large part because we were so different. But we were the same on the important stuff and we worked hard to build our relationship - all the time. She really worked hard to learn my hobbies because she just wanted to be together. She was always reading books on relationships and listening to self help radio and we were always talking about ways of improving and growing together. Eventually we matured and bonded so very strongly with complete mutual respect and 100% dedication and love. We always said 100-100, not 50 - 50. I give you 100% of my respect, love and dedication and I will always keep you safe. The key was that in return, she did the same. A complete commitment of everything we had. I have never felt so loved and I have never been able to love someone so completely. She gave me both of those gifts. After 22 years, the way she would look at me every time I came home with that big radiant smile was as if I just returned from the war. She had of way of making me feel so good about myself. She accepted and loved all of me, including my faults and rough edges. That’s complete and total love.

 Marilyn will never be replaced. She was such a special and unique person – one of a kind. Fortunately for all of us she was a very bright light and she touched the lives of so many people with her brand of joy and happiness that her spirit and impact will live on in all of us forever. We used to say 100 – 100 for ever and always. As I promised her during the last week of her life, I will love and honor her for all of time.

George Gidzinski

    7/20/2019 

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